billboard BREAKDOWN - hot 100 - may 21, 2022

So in my predictions last week around album bombs, I screwed up in a way that I really should have caught: thinking about Jack Harlow reclaiming the #1 and bringing an album bomb of his own, I forgot about Bad Bunny. Part of this is because he’s a lot bigger in the States than Canada in terms of chart success - he literally only had ONE song debut on the Canadian Hot 100 this week - and partially because the album dropped from out of nowhere. But it’s also because I’ve always been more lukewarm to his material than outright embracing it… even though he’s dropped multiple album bombs before and I should have caught it, my mistake. But he’s the one who ultimately helped me realize the album bomb rules required revision in 2022 with changing times - and even with that revision this is all going to go way too long, so strap in.

And let’s start with the top 10 and the one prediction that was easy enough to call: ‘First Class’ by Jack Harlow reclaimed the #1, mostly thanks to its consistent radio traction backing up the boost on streaming with the album bomb… but it’s a narrower margin than you might think, mostly because ‘As It Was’ by Harry Style reached the top spot on the radio and is still picking up speed at #2 - yeah, it might be overwhelmed in other channels, but it is stable. This was enough to unseat ‘WAIT FOR U’ by Future ft. Drake and Tems and push it to #3 - it might still rule streaming, but radio has been slower to get onboard and sales fell off considerably. But this is where we reach album bomb territory, because the next three songs are all from Bad Bunny, pretty much here on streaming alone: ‘Moscow Mule’ at #4, ‘Titi Me Pregunto’ at #5, and ‘Despues de la Playa’ at #6. We’ll talk more about the songs later on, but they did push back ‘Heat Waves’ by Glass Animals to #7, where it’s holding onto its radio and streaming margin and that’s just enough to cling above ‘Big Energy’ by Latto, Mariah Carey and DJ Khaled at #8, which might have more airplay but just has that. Then we have an interesting surprise: ‘About Damn Time’ by Lizzo enters the top 10 at #9, as great sales and improving performance in other channels seems to have set this up to be a hit… right in the middle of the album bombs, aka the worst possible time, and to prove it ‘Me Porto Bonito’ by Bad Bunny and Chencho Corleone is holding up at #10!

Now onto our losers and dropouts, and remember how last week I set it up so I didn’t think I’d have to cover a ton of losses? Yeah, it didn’t work, a full third of the chart wound up falling hard, and that’s even before we get to the big name dropouts like ‘One right Now’ by Post Malone and The Weeknd, ‘good 4 u’ by Olivia Rodrigo, ‘Surface Pressure’ by Jessica Darrow, ‘Broadway Girls’ by Lil Durk and Morgan Wallen - where it looks like it’s going to clinch the year-end list, joy, along with ‘Light Switch’ by Charlie Puth - and falling short we have ‘No Love’ by Summer Walker and SZA, ‘Circles Around This Town’ by Maren Morris, ‘Do We Have A Problem’ by Nicki Minaj and Lil Baby, and from Lil Durk especially ‘Ahhh Ha’ and ‘Rumors’ with Gucci Mane. Now in our losers, a significant chunk of them are just the Future album bomb, so ‘PUFFIN ON ZOOTIEZ’ hit 19, ‘LOVE YOU BETTER’ hit 61, ‘I’M ON ONE’ with Drake hit 63, ‘712PM’ hit 64, ‘I’M DAT N****’ hit 79, ‘MASSAGING ME’ hit 87, and for good measure he also cannibalized ‘pushin p’ with Gunna and Young Thug to 89 and ‘Me Or Sum’ with Nardo Wick and Lil Baby to 91. But again, over a full third of the chart lost traction, so let’s start with the other new arrivals like ‘Honest’ by Justin Bieber and Don Toliver tanking at 100 and ‘Frozen’ by Lil Baby at 96. Then let’s get to our continued losers: ‘23’ by Sam Hunt at 98, ‘The Motto’ by Tiesto and Ava Max at 95, two songs from Lauren Spencer-Smith with ‘Fingers Crossed’ at 94 and ‘Flowers’ at 93 - the latter isn’t a continued loser, I know, let’s not get pedantic - and ‘Beers On Me’ by Dierks Bentley, Breland, and HARDY at 71. Then there’s ‘Don’t Think Jesus’ at 85, ‘What Happened To Virgil’ by Lil Durk and Gunna at 78, ‘Freaky Deaky’ by Tyga and Doja Cat at 76, ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno’ by the Encanto Cast at 70, ‘Right On’ and ‘In A Minute’ by Lil Baby at 69 at 53, ‘Never Say Never’ by Cole Swindell and Lainey Wilson at 67, and ‘Hrs And Hrs’ by Muni Long at 62. And to end that group, ‘Thousand Miles’ by Kid LAROI at 58, ‘Need To Know’ by Doja Cat at 47, ‘Easy On Me’ by Adele at 46, and ‘abcdefu’ by GAYLE at 41. And now, the rest: ‘Peru’ by Fireboy DML and Ed Sheeran at 86, ‘Never Wanted To Be That Girl’ by Carly Pearce and Ashley McBryde at 80, ‘If I Was A Cowboy’ by Miranda Lambert at 73, ‘When You’re Gone’ by Shawn Mendes at 72, ‘To The Moon’ By JNR Choi and Sam Tompkins at 57, ‘MAMII’ by Becky G and Karol G at 38, and from Lil Nas X, ‘THATS WHAT I WANT’ at 28 and ‘INDUSTRY BABY’ with Jack Harlow at 42.

Speaking of which, given that we had no returns this week, we only had one other gain outside of Lizzo: ‘Nail Tech’ by Jack Harlow at 65, the one other prediction with him I got right. Unfortunately, he really didn’t get an album bomb this week, falling just short… but Bad Bunny sure as hell did, breaking 22 new songs on the Hot 100! And it was at this point I realized the album bomb rules needed some tinkering - it’s been years since I’ve introduced them, the charts are now at the point where album bombs don’t just land in the lower half of the hot 100, they take over the top 10 regularly, and since so many acts are stream trolling these days, it makes sense to be reasonable and evolve with the times. So, with that being said, here are the new rules: if an album bomb has five songs or less, I cover all of them - yes, that means I cover all of Jack Harlow this week, it’s still a lot even as I reviewed the album - if an album bomb has between six and eleven songs the standard rules apply, only the songs in the top 40 or if they got best or worst. However, if an album bomb has twelve songs or more within a single week, only the songs in the top 20 or if they got best or worst will be covered - this still means I’m covering at least seven Bad Bunny songs this week, and I suspect a lot of Kendrick next week too! So, with that in mind, here’s the Bad Bunny songs that are below the top 20 and are neither the best nor worst of this week - and apologies in advance for my abysmal Spanish - ‘Agosto’ at 74, ‘Ensename A Bailar’ at 60, ‘Me Ful de Vacaciones’ at 59, ‘Un Coco’ at 56, ‘Un Verano Sin Ti’ at 55, ‘El Apagon’ at 54, ‘Andrea’ with Buscabulla at 51, ‘Dos Mil 16’ at 45, ‘Aguacero’ at 44, ‘Efecto’ at 34, ‘La Corriente’ with Tony Dize at 32, ‘Neverita’ at 31, ‘Ojitos Lindos’ with Bomba Estereo at 26, and ‘Yo No Soy Celoso’ at 22.

Got all of that? Good, because the list of new arrivals is still absurdly busy, starting with…

99. ‘Poison’ by Jack Harlow ft. Lil Wayne - …I mean, it’s not the worst song on the album, but it’s honestly close - the fizzy percussion off the vocal sample and then the odd oily phrases on the third verse with little in the way of low-end until Lil Wayne slips into the sort of verse that reminds me way too much of the era where he’ll just say anything, with a free poop reference, claiming that he eats so much shrimp he got iodine poisoning, claims that he’s vaxxed from the hoes, and then says ‘I might have to jack your bitch ‘cause I be on my Harlow shit’. Maybe it’s just me, but it’s not a good sign when the MC placed next to you to boost your profile uses your name as a punchline, but when Jack Harlow’s most notable lines are about wanting to get photos in Getty images and bring back MTV Cribs, alongside a weak hook where these girls are poison, but the good kind, maybe it’s best he got overshadowed. Not good, next!

97. ‘Young Harleezy’ by Jack Harlow - this feels like a song that was stitched together from a bunch of fragments - more brittle percussion, slight piano phrases, another weak hook that comes after an interlude from Snoop Dogg that’s faintly embarrassing, and then seemling leaning on all the ways Jack Harlow is settling into his lane, which involves finding the non-freaky girls and wondering out here who is as passionate as him, which seems to be the opposite of his vibe! Now to his credit, I actually mostly like the third verse here - the flex is more uptempo coming off the slight horn embellishments, the braggadocious side finally locks in, and there’s a few decent punchlines… but it’s not quite as cool as it thinks it is, and that’s a problem.

88. ‘I’d Do Anything to Make You Smile’ by Jack Harlow - wow, between all the watery effects, the whistles, and rubbery bass, this sounds imported from the mid-2000s and I’m not sure that’s a compliment, especially after that lush strings intro. Now again, I do like Jack Harlow’s bounce on this song - his flow is decent, he’s got some attitude, the hook is a little sharper… but then the second verse happens and he says he’s going to fuck the earrings off this girl, or referencing Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shape of You’, which I might like but not for it being all that sexy? Thank god there’s the Coach K and Rick Pitino reference to end his verse that’s kind of clever, otherwise this would be a dud - next!

84. ‘Whiskey On You’ by Nate Smith - I think the story of Nate Smith might be more interesting than the music he’s making. He went to Nashville in the early 2010s, got some opening gigs and a record deal, but never really got traction; he moved back to California, his house got caught in the fires and he wrote a song that got a bit of traction in the aftermath, and that convinced him to move back to Nashville, where a few years later he got some viral traction and another deal with a bigger label. Shame this song doesn’t give me much to work with - yeah, I can appreciate a more organic approach with the guitar layering and live drums, but the vocal mixing feels a little muddy in the multi-tracking, the composition is pretty basic, and the sentiment of ‘I’m done drinking to get over you, these drinks are a celebration’ isn’t all that convincing he’s moved on. Again, I feel like I get songs like this every other week and they rarely make an impression - it’s not bad, but it’s not that interesting.

82. ‘Hold My Hand’ by Lady Gaga - yes, I’m more irritated than I should be that we’re getting a sequel to Top Gun - the original film was fine for exactly what it was, and I’d put money on this sequel stripping out any of the camp and subtext that kept that film in the public consciousness decades later. But hey, Lady Gaga made the theme song in the style of huge 80s power ballads - nice job getting away from that subtext, boys - and… look, Lady Gaga is the sort of performer who can crank this to eleven, she’s got the pipes for it, and when the guitars spark on the hook, and try to erupt for a solo on the bridge, I was close to getting onboard. The problem is that Lady Gaga still insists on working with BloodPop, a producer I’ve never liked and here gives this song some of the most leaden and stiff percussion I’ve heard in months, especially on the verses and pre-chorus, so the song can’t build any momentum for its sentiments of comfort and brotherhood, and it feels stodgy. In other words, it works fine as a stock movie theme, and Lady Gaga is certainly trying to make it work… but I’ve heard this formula one too many times. Okay at best.

50. ‘This Love (Taylor’s Version)’ by Taylor Swift - full disclosure, I did not remember ‘This Love’. It was an album cut from 1989, not one I really revisited in the eight years since, though I did mention it a few times in the review for having a generally pleasant, Enya-esque sound in its vocal arrangement with a surprisingly wiry tone against some pretty underwhelming, basic lyricism. And… well, as much as I appreciate Swift’s voice picking up more character with age, and the acoustics and percussion feeling a little warmer as a whole against the pulsating groove, it still feels like an album cut for me, without the detail and flair that makes Swift’s best songs for me. Don’t get me wrong, the production is better than what I was expecting for Taylor’s version of 1989, given some of the missteps on Red… but it doesn’t make a weak composition any better. Just okay to me.

49. ‘Otro Atardecer’ by Bad Bunny & The Marias - …I think this is my favourite song off of this Bad Bunny album, and I’m a bit surprised that it is. The wheedling guitar fragment off the fluttery percussion and with Bad Bunny as flagrantly horny as ever, but The Marias provide enough soft, cooing presence to balance out how he underplays the song even before they switch into English for a bridge. And when you dig into the content, I think that’s partially why this song works - it’s reminiscing, thinking back on an old hookup and the lingering ashes of that romance, where they both wonder if they could reconnect someday, especially as there’s so much that remains unknown. It’s a sweet, understated sentiment that both of them pull off really well against this tropical backdrop - great little deep cut, absolutely worth hearing.

23. ‘Churchill Downs’ by Jack Harlow ft. Drake - This song got a lot of attention as an album cut, mostly because Jack Harlow has modeled a lot of his sound off of Drake and then the man himself had to reassert his presence to ensure folks knew who was the genuine article. If I was Jack Harlow I probably would have fought to not have this song on the album - yeah, big feature, but he showed you up big time… but let’s also take a step back to realize this is still not that good regardless of the verses. The dreary sample and spare tapping percussion, Jack Harlow rambling about his come-up and newfound success where for as much as he implies folks don’t know him more, there’s less detail to inform it beyond a few passing references to meeting Drake and where he came up. And Drake’s verse… well, outside of that dumbass line how he can’t address folks who don’t own property, all amidst bitter lines about getting on the cusp of cutting loose and punching back at Pusha T, let’s not act like the majority of your moves aren’t promotional or that a significant chunk of your own catalog isn’t disposable, and then you follow it with the line, ‘I blow her head up, it’s an inflatable’. Drake being petty with his subs has long ago stopped being interesting to me, especially as he sounds miserable every time he does it, and as much I can appreciate Drake with decent flows and punchlines, this doesn’t rise above middling for me, regardless of who wins it.

21. ‘Dua Lipa’ by Jack Harlow - let’s get this out of the way now: yes, Jack Harlow got Dua Lipa’s permission to use her name as this song, although read a little deeper into the conversations around it and you realize she was probably a bit skeeved out by it, which you’d think would be enough to get Jack Harlow to reconsider. But he didn’t - hell, he doubled down and referenced both wanting Ariana Grande and then highlighting his connection with Kanye, and if you’re name-chasing at this point on your album you might have a substance problem - and it’s kind of a shame the melody has this oily gloss because otherwise, this is fine. The flow is pretty tight, it’s horny but not getting disgusting about it, and I think Jack Harlow is probably thanking god that Luka Doncic line is going to have some play going into the Western Conference finals. Not saying this is good by any means - a lot of folks are calling this a simp anthem and it kind of is - but it’s not bad either, just kind of there.

18. ‘Tarot’ by Bad Bunny & Jhay Cortez - okay, after ‘Dakiti’ was a huge hit, I knew this collab was going to get a lot of attention, and for the most part I get why. The warping synth fragment alongside the faster rollick of the percussion that might not have the same atmosphere as both of these guys salivate over some insanely hot woman - the vocal filters slipping over the vocals on the verses don’t help, nor does the flagrant objectification in describing this woman as a museum piece or art. But overall, the groove is more defined and I get the appeal here; fine enough song.

16. ‘Un Ratito’ by Bad Bunny - you know, up until the stock reggaeton beat dropped in, I actually kind of dug this one - the watery melodies surrounding Bad Bunny sounding more dejected as he wonders how he’ll ever to be able to settle down properly given how hectic his life is right now, especially as he comes across being a little more thoughtful and mature this time around. It’s still melodramatic as hell - the whole ‘nobody will ever love me’ thing gets a bit ridiculous - but Bad Bunny is one of the few who can pull it off well, and while I wish the percussion was more interesting, this is still a good song.

15. ‘The Heart Part 5’ by Kendrick Lamar - So we’ll have a lot more to say about Kendrick Lamar next week - or tomorrow if you see the review of the album proper going live on my main channel - but ‘The Heart Part 5’ is not on the album and really served as a primer for everything to come, so let’s dig in. I’m not going to speak much on the deep fake elements of the video, where Kendrick is overlaying the faces of famous black men, some notorious for their transgressions, mostly because the point he’s trying to make is a challenge as to where and when forgiveness should be extended, especially in the context of how black men are trapped within a culture that’ll chew them up, be it within gangs and the prison-industrial complex or just the mechanisms of capitalism as a whole. And when hurt people hurt more people, the cycle continues anew, especially as they succumb to their vices, where on the third verse as he speaks from Nipsey Hussle’s perspective, he forgives his killer, knowing the pain that underscores that action and how his legacy will continue on; still think I prefer this concept when Run The Jewels did it on ‘Thursday In The Danger Room’ on RTJ3, but that’s a different conversation. What important is that these are some loaded ideas - and full disclosure, I don’t think Kendrick pays them off the best on the album for a lot of complicated reasons - but what this song puts forward is pretty damn potent all the same; Kendrick’s flow is on point against the gorgeous sample of Marvin Gaye with the pattering, textured percussion around him, and even when he drops out the drums for the third verse, it’s still effective - hell, I’d argue it’s better than a significant chunk of the album it precedes. Great, thought-provoking song, and even if I know it’s not going to stick around because these precursor songs never do, it’s impressive all the same.

14. ‘Party’ by Bad Bunny & Rauw Alejandro - the next very obvious collab, given that Rauw Alejandro has been building a lot of momentum the past little while… and not one of the better ones, to be honest. A big part of this is the once-again stock percussion with limited melody to support the mix, as both men go off on their horny club hopping that gets pretty flagrant, but if all you’re going to do for the hook is just repeat ‘party’ over and over… it feels like undercooked, guaranteed to get attention because of the names; this could have been much better.

12. ‘Thought You Should Know’ by Morgan Wallen - you know, I’d like to say that the reason Morgan Wallen continues to get these big charting hits is because of Nashville giving him a major push… but no, this got here on sales, his audience has decided to get back onboard full force, and I’m still kind of conflicted about all of that, even if in this case it’s clearly being pushed as a Mother’s Day song as an extended letter to his mom, full of pedal steel and sandy percussion. Now the truth is that this song has actually been available since he dropped it in May 2021 on his Instagram and YouTube, only now getting the full push. And… look, it’s kind of a sweet song without being sappy - I’m a little surprised he just openly drops profanity given this is Music Row, but it feels more lived in, conversational, and heartfelt, where discovering Miranda Lambert cowrote it is no surprise at all. I’m not sure it’s got another element that puts it into a higher tier of these sorts of ‘I love my mom’ songs, but it’s hard to hate something like this. Good song, not really worth remarking on it further.

10. ‘Me Porto Bonito’ by Bad Bunny & Chencho Corleone - I’m a little conflicted on this one - on the one hand, the weirdly rickety mix short on melody but with the same stock reggaeton percussion doesn’t exactly impress me, and Chencho Corleone is as nasal and grating as ever, especially as he’s not exactly bringing much in the content to elevate this beyond horndog wildness. On the other hand, the beat switch-up for the start of his verse is not bad, and I don’t think Bad Bunny is necessary bad here either… so it just kind of washes out as being forgettable, at least for me.

6. ‘Despues de la Playa’ by Bad Bunny - …I saw some folks highlight how they liked how this was a pivot with its wild shift towards merengue during the second half of the song with a lot of shirll blaring horns and the textured percussion… and I’m sorry, I didn’t care for this at all. For starters the song begins with this goopy, offkey warbling with no percussion as Bad Bunny tries to set up the sexual encounter… and then there’s a swerve into the chintzy merengue session where the mix sounds underproduced and Bad Bunny plays into helping this girl cheat, saying that her ass is spoken of in the barbershop and grocery store, and on one of the later interludes, it implied he screwed someone’s wife, and God’s forgiven him, but the husband hasn’t; you all see how this makes it difficult to buy into him as a sensitive romantic figure, right, even if this is played for laughs? My larger issues come with construction - this was two ideas poorly stitched together, and neither or them are all that likable - not a fan, let’s move on.

5. ‘Titi Me Pregunto’ by Bad Bunny - this is a song where I get the appeal, but feel like it misses the payoff the way it should - the weak offkey guitar dropping into the shuffling latin trap groove that eventually picks up an airhorn and seems to be building towards a drop, but the entire song feels lacking in tune to drive towards an effective climax… and then it switches up after the sample to this eerie synth intending to drive some menace, and it never gets there. Then there’s the content, where Bad Bunny rattles through the list of women that he’s seeing around the world without settling down and being the capricious player, only for the switch-up to reveal that this might be a problem and he starts actively warning women to stay away. And… not a bad sentiment, sure, but the album doesn’t remotely pay it off and the execution feels a little goofy alongside the concept. Not a bad idea, just didn’t quite work for me.

4. ‘Moscow Mule’ by Bad Bunny - and this is the big one, the album opener with a title referencing alcohol and some odd clanking effects against the atmosphere and pulsating low end, where the whooshing effects seem to be setting a different scene… and then the stock reggaeton groove drops in, albeit with a little more texture building across the hook. Admittedly there’s a cool spacious breakdown for the bridge where the implied hookup seems to be coming, but it feels like they went a little too far overboard on the reverb, and while I appreciate Bad Bunny being a little more coy about the possibility of hooking up with this person where it’s been back and forth for a while, midway through the first verse you know exactly where this is going. I dunno, there’s some interesting stylistic elements here, but I’m not sure there’s enough of them to help this stand out much, especially longer term.

And that ends our week, where the best and the worst fall out really fast - in the latter category ‘Poison’ by Jack Harlow ft. Lil Wayne, with Dishonourable Mention going to ‘Despues de la Playa’ by Bad Bunny as again, despite the novelty I don’t think it works. Now for the best… I did want to give it to Bad Bunny and the Marias for ‘Otro Atardecer’, but it’s getting the Honourable Mention with the best going to ‘The Heart Part 5’, which is just excellent across the board - kind of tough to keep up with that. What will be interesting next week is to see what comes alongside Kendrick Lamar, stay tuned to find out!