billboard BREAKDOWN - hot 100 - may 14, 2022
So this is a week where I have good news and bad news. The good is that it looks like YouTube finally fixed their escrow bug properly and I’m going to get paid out what they owe me - as someone who doesn’t give any corporation the benefit of the doubt, the fact that YouTube came through and undoubtedly took a loss to do so is the pleasant surprise I really needed. Unfortunately it comes on the same week as a Future album bomb that’s way bigger than it has any right to be…
And it actually starts in the top 10, because we have a new #1: ‘Wait For U’ by Future, featuring Drake and Tems. Now I could highlight how the top 10 is not especially strong right now, and Future is riding a name collaboration plus a bit of radio, but when the streaming is this robust, there’s not really much that can compete… at least until next week when we get the next album bomb in sequence! But it was enough to bowl over ‘As It Was’ by Harry Styles down to #2 despite its strength in every channel, especially sales dominance and radio momentum. And that gives me the impression that ‘First Class’ by Jack Harlow, despite being down to #3 this week is likely set to rebound back to the top: its streaming is still strong, the radio run is very much there, and when the album bomb hits… well, it’ll be surprising if it doesn’t take #1. Then we have another Future song ‘Puffin On Zootiez’ at #4 - streaming, unsurprising here - and it was enough to shove back ‘Heat Waves’ by Glass Animals at #5, although its increasing radio losses are doing a fine enough job there. We also saw a dip for ‘Big Energy’ by Latto ft. Mariah Carey and DJ Khaled to #6, even as its radio seemed a little unstable this week - it’s really competing with ‘Enemy’ by Imagine Dragons and JID at #7 for the top radio spot, and given airplay is all this song has, it’s going to be interesting to see the fallout. Then we have another Future song with ‘712PM’ at #8 - streaming, as per expected - and while ‘Stay’ by Kid LAROI and Justin Bieber held onto #9 as its radio finally slipped into freefall, we’ve got a fourth Future song at #10 with ‘I’m That N****’ - fun stuff.
The one thing I can say for this album bomb is that it did lead to a seismic shift on our losers and dropouts, and wow, there’s a lot of the latter, specifically among songs that have clinched their year-end spot: ‘Save Your Tears’ by The Weeknd and Ariana Grande, ‘Levitating’ by Dua Lipa, ‘I hate u’ by SZA, ‘You Right’ by Doja Cat and The Weeknd, ‘Fancy Like’ by Walker Hayes, and ‘Sand In My Boots’ by Morgan Wallen. And then comes the losers… a full third of the Hot 100, that I’m actually going to go through because with the album bombs to come, I don’t expect the same sudden dropoff so we might as well set the board now. Starting off with new arrivals, ‘Thousand Miles’ by Kid LAROI slid to 43, ‘2step’ by Ed Sheeran and Lil Baby hit 70, ‘Something In The Orange’ by Zach Bryan hit 77, and ‘Plan B’ by Megan Thee Stallion hit 79. Then we have the one gain cut short - that would be ‘Trouble With A Heartbreak’ by Jason Aldean at 50 - and a whole lot of continued losers: ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno’ by the Encanto Cast at 51, ‘Never Say Never’ by Cole Swindell and Lainey Wilson at 53, ‘Don’t Think Jesus’ by Morgan Wallen at 66, ‘Nail Tech’ by Jack Harlow at 85 - it’s going to rebound next week, mark my words - ‘Surface Pressure’ by Jessica Darrow at 87, ‘Light Switch’ by Charlie Puth at 88, ‘Ahhh Ha’ by Lil Durk at 96, ‘Rumors’ by Gucci Mane and Lil Durk at 97, and ‘Shake It’ by Kay Flock, Cardi B, Dougie B and Bory300 at 99. Then comes the country losses, which I bucket together because they’re normally in their own ecosystem outside of album bombs thanks to Nashville radio: ‘Flower Shops’ by ERNEST and Morgan Wallen at 83, ‘23’ by Sam Hunt at 75, ‘Slow Down Summer’ by Thomas Rhett at 74, ‘Beers On Me’ by Dierks Bentley, Breland and HARDY at 71, and ‘Doin This’ by Luke Combs at 48. And now… the rest: ‘Do We Have A Problem’ by Nicki Minaj and Lil Baby at 93, ‘No Love’ by Summer Walker and SZA at 84, ‘Broadway Girls’ by Lil Durk and Morgan Wallen at 81 - might as well throw in ‘What Happened To Virgil’ with Gunna at 61 - and ‘Me Or Sum’ by Nardo Wick, Lil Baby and Future at 76. Then there’s ‘Fingers Crossed’ by Lauren Spencer-Smith at 69, ‘‘pushin p’ by Gunna, Future and Young thug at 68, ‘Freaky Deaky’ by Tyga and Doja Cat at 65, ‘The Motto’ by Tiesto and Ava Max at 64, ‘Right On’ by Lil Baby at 52, and ‘good 4 u’ by Olivia Rodrigo at 49. Finally to end this off, ‘Hrs And Hrs’ by Muni Long at 47, ‘In A Minute’ by Lil Baby at 38, ‘One Right Now’ by Post Malone and The Weeknd at 37, ‘Easy On Me’ by Adele at 36, ‘Need to Know’ by Doja Cat at 33, and ‘abcdefu’ by GAYLE at 23.
Now what might surprise you is that we actually got a few gains and returns this week - yes, in the latter case it’s just ‘Fall in Love’ by Bailey Zimmerman at 91, but I’m surprised it came back at all on an album bomb week, and when we go to our gains I’m legit shocked that ‘Damn Strait’ by Scotty McCreery leaped up to 62 - yes, it came with ‘Take My Name’ by Parmalee at 57, but still! The last two gains… I’ll admit a little surprise that ‘Provenza’ by Karol G caught some traction to 25, mostly thanks to holding its own on streaming, but the legit shocker was ‘About Damn Time’ by Lizzo getting a massive boost to 19, where it looks like someone turned on the label machinery proper behind her as she saw a pickup in traction in both streaming and sales. It’ll be fascinating to see how much any of this lasts in the weeks to come, we’ll have to see. Speaking of which, we are in album bomb territory for this Future project… the problem is that the majority of it is in the top 40 so I’m going to wind up covering it regardless, but of the stuff that’s below that point and is neither the best nor worst… ‘The Way Things Going’ at 60 - although this one was close thanks to the sweet guitar line from TM88, even if it feels like something Rod Wave could do more with - ‘Back To The Basics’ at 58, ‘Holy Ghost’ at 46, and ‘We Jus Wanna Get High’ at 45.
But before we get to all the Future, let’s start on the other new arrivals with…
94. ‘Love Me More’ by Sam Smith - have to be honest, I’m a little surprised that Sam Smith couldn’t get more traction off of their last album. Yeah, it might not have had much to follow off of ‘Diamonds’, which is still a great song, but better marketing has gotten more hits out of less. Anyway, this is a lead-off single for their next project… and you know, there’s parts of this that I can see working. The textured bass groove playing off the spare percussion gives this a little bounce alongside a really nice, layered vocal arrangement… and it’s all in service of a very limited melody that feels like it’s imported from an utterly basic chord progression for Sam Smith to make a sadly cliche self-esteem anthem that we used to get back in 2015. Not saying there isn’t value to songs like this, but when it feels so underdeveloped and stock, I’m left wondering that outside of Sam Smith fans whether there’s any market for this sort of thing anymore. Just bland to me, next!
82. ‘In The Stars’ by Benson Boone - …y’all know we don’t have to give every mediocre singer-songwriter charting hits, right? I was aware this was coming thanks to the international charts, but Benson Boone’s last song was pretty bad and I didn’t expect this to be any better. And… look, there’s a part of me that wants to be considerate of the fact that he’s trying to write a song dedicated to a girl he loved who died and he’s now trying to process his grief. And some of the personal details aren’t bad - remembering how they used to go to church together, how she gave him a twenty that he’ll never spend because it reminds him of her, there are seeds that could work… but man, the execution just doesn’t. Boone’s voice is once again by far the worst part of this - Lewis Capaldi by way of Harry Styles, I’ll say it again, and his upper register on the bridge feels painfully limited - but his songwriting also feels really clunky, where especially on the final lines of the hook the cadence feels off. And that’s something I wouldn’t even notice if we weren’t getting the beyond basic piano ballad approach swallowed in reverb where none of the bombastic swell is paid off, especially in the gutless guitars - when your arrangement and composition isn’t interesting, I’m going to notice everything that doesn’t work. As it is… I don’t want to disrespect the sentiment, but this is cloying and badly delivered pop soul that should have gone out of fashion once we all got sick of Charlie Puth’s ‘See You Again’ - it gives me a headache every time, next!
80. ‘That That’ by PSY ft. SUGA - I kind of feel like we’re a few years late to getting this collab. Granted, PSY took a number of years off after 2017, so it’s not surprising it took this long, but hey, pair one of the first charting k-pop crossovers and one of the most iconic memes of the early 2010s with a member of BTS and it seems destined to print money. Granted, that kind of overshadows what this actually is… and it’s weird, but not in the way I expected, especially adjacent to BTS - honestly, it just sounds like a early 2010s Pitbull album cut with the garish horns and weirdly flat tropical dance patter where PSY is going to hammer a pretty flat hook with empty club lyrics alongside a rap verse from SUGA where he’s probably the standout presence. But if anything it highlights how much Pitbull is sorely missed, because he had a swagger and flair for the ridiculous that PSY seems to be tamping back on here - kind of a shame because PSY can get really funny if you know his albums, but this feels more mercenary, and as such it’s not quite as fun. Yes, it’s better than ‘Gentlemen’ or any number of obnoxious dance cuts that PSY tried after in the aftermath of ‘Gangnam Style’, but that’s not saying much - just not as enjoyable as I was hoping it’d be.
54. ‘Frozen’ by Lil Baby - I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Lil Baby actually released this - apparently it was leaked last December, it got a good fan response, you all should know by now that artists and labels use leaks to gauge fan interest and all of this is calculated, so now it’s a promotional single to go along with the two Lil Baby already released. And you’d think he’d have used the time to give this a bit of refinement, but it’s the sort of song that feels really stock coming from Lil Baby - more a focus on stacking money, paranoid glances at those who can’t respect his come-up as he tries to support those in his circle, even as he’s still morose about all of it, and a flow that feels a little jerky against the piano line and percussion that feels really clumsily mixed - the bass swamps out the weedy trap hi-hats and snares, it sounds a lot cheaper than it should. But again, this doesn’t surprise me coming from Lil Baby - he’s hit this formula before, and this just does not stand out - not terrible, but I’m going to forget this in record time.
44. ‘Honest’ by Justin Bieber & Don Toliver - somehow on an album bomb week, we’re not lucky enough to get away from Justin Bieber back on trap production… wait, why the hell is he doing this? Didn’t he learn his lesson from Changes that nobody wants to hear him on this, especially when he sounds lazy as hell, the melodies are these goopy chipmunked fragments, and the chalky trap percussion feels overmixed and underpowered. I feel bad for Don Toliver who is clearly looking for production with more flair or atmosphere and is stuck with this gooey mess that gives him no support - it’s not a good verse either as he’s on his generic drugs and flexing, but it doesn’t match how Bieber is trying to once again elevate his wife in his flexing. And how is he still so bad at this - he’s highlighting his wife’s modesty, calls her his ‘dime piece’, has lines like ‘trinity, three in one / ratio, ten in one’, and then says he likes the cajun on her - you know, getting spicy. And fine, lady in the streets, freak in the sheets, I get what Bieber is trying to do, but if you have to start your hook asserting how ‘honest’ you are, and you sound completely half-ass, it’s hard for me to buy any of it, even before the lines turn to crap! Can someone get Scooter Braun back in the picture with Bieber, he’s going off the rails again - because yeah, this is bad, skip it!
39. ‘Voodoo’ by Future ft. Kodak Black - so I have twelve Future songs to get through here, and given that the content barely changes song over song, I’m going to try to keep this brief. Here he teams up with Kodak Black to handle the hook where he’s trying to frame a larger, angels vs demons struggle to disguise his bitching how nobody cares about him - can’t imagine why. Future’s one verse doesn’t really show that added emotional dimension or darker conflict - and also sounds like it was recorded in a different studio - and when it’s layered over a chipmunked sample and pianos as the bass swamps the trap percussion, this feels like it was assembled in post to capitalize on Kodak’s hook. Not a fan of any of it, next!
29. ‘Gold Stacks’ by Future - no jokes, this is probably my favourite song on the album. The brooding offkey oscillation behind the buzzy trap percussion that yes, also sounds cheaper than it should, but Future sounds engaged in his sneering flex, switches up his flow well on the hook, has the audacity to call Dr. Phil for a prescription for lean, and then says he can turn straight girls bi with enough money. It’s still using bisexual women as self-gratification, but it doesn’t play into the usual rapper stereotype of erasing queerness for them to get on his dick, which feels like progress? I dunno, call it low standards, but this goes pretty hard, good stuff.
26. ‘Chickens’ by Future ft. EST Gee - so I thought EST Gee was in jail, why are we now getting his clunky Gucci Mane impression on Future songs, alongside the sort of squealing synth that doesn’t feel well-balanced at all as we get one of the most repetitive hooks on the entire album? To Future’s credit, the midrange synths from Wheezy balance out okay again Future’s careening drug abuse and foreign cars, but the guest verse with pretty stock drug dealing paraphernalia doesn’t elevate it. Just kind of flat for me.
24. ‘For A Nut’ by Future ft. Gunna & Young Thug - god, I can’t stand the hook on this - Future sounds constipated as he talks about everything he can get this girl ‘for a nut’ against the flat buzzy synth, whirring trap snares, and oscillating melody, and it’s not opulent or flashy, just annoying. Then Gunna rattles through brand names, Future has the charming line ‘go lurk for it, clutchin’ a banana / Got monkey nuts, spray shit on camera’ amidst his brand names, and Young Thug gets the already memed line of putting diamonds in this girl’s butt with all sorts of semen references as he sounds like he’s going to pass out. What might be most remarkable is that it feels like I’ve heard all three of these guys repeat this exact same formula dozens of times before, so it’s not even uniquely bad - next!
20. ‘Massaging Me’ by Future - so the joke with this is that ‘massaging me’ sounds like ‘misogyny’, the running gag of Future’s career, but the odd thing with this album is that for as bitter and vindictive as Future can be, he’s not nearly as toxic as he could be on this album - hell, the girls are inspiring him to get money here. Yeah, the sex references are graphic and the song devolves into brand name porn and a shot at Rocko of all people - guess Future’s still not done settling that score from years ago - but what’s more annoying is that binaural synth that shifts from ear to ear behind the trap beat and how the hook never probably hits the way it should. Really feels like abbreviated album filler, let’s move on.
15. ‘Keep It Burnin’ by Future ft. Kanye West - we’re now on multiple weeks in a row where Kanye can’t leave well enough alone from the elements that work with his features, because there are pieces that really work here. The weedy melody behind the rumbling trap groove might be clumsily mixed but Kanye’s hook is potent in setting the menace as it warps beneath him, and Future going straight to his more detailed dealing roots helps amplify that grisly darkness. But then Kanye has to take his Biblical posturing and match it with lines about buying the house next door to Kim Kardashian on some serious stalker shit, or how he’s planning to run for president again in 2024 and Kim better be standing next to him - again, this is creepy, and even if Kanye might have a point calling out Democrat incompetence in accomplishing all of their goals, I have less than zero faith that Kanye is the right messenger or someone who can deliver on any promise. There’s a part of me that wanted to give this credit, because I thought Future was on point… shame very little else is.
12. ‘Love You Better’ by Future - this is a glorified interlude against a washed out sample with some really poorly mixed percussion that’s so close to the front of the mix that it doesn’t compliment Future’s anguish at all that a woman fell out of love with him and seems to be moving on… and Future seems to accept it, maybe not wishing her the best but handling it with a bit more maturity. Not much of a song, but for what it is… it’s fine I guess.
11. ‘I’m On One’ by Future ft. Drake - the first of the Drake collaborations, one buried at the back of the album with its keening synths and arguably one of the sharper trap grooves on the album, even if the bass seems a little clunky in the blending. Future doesn’t do a lot with it - drug abuse, implied gun violence, sports references that Drake continues in his verse - but I think the larger problem is a dull hook that doesn’t match any of the energy Drake brought. Granted, Drake uses this energy to interpolate Blueface, drop brand names, and go through some very tossed off ‘I’m too famous to care’ about the women being messy in his presence before saying he never liked a bunch of the people trying to play nice. My issue is that given how often these two have worked together, you’d think they’d have more to say at some point; the only reason it’s charting this high is the feature and it’s not a noteworthy one, let’s move on.
10. ‘I’m Dat N****’ by Future - how is it that Future is supposedly at the top of his game, and yet he can’t get his producers to master the bass properly so it doesn’t bleed into the rest of the mix with its dreary pianos and overly busy snares? I think what annoys me more here is that for all of Future’s flexing, he can’t keep up momentum with his flows and has to change them up and slow down as his verse continues, which culminates in him interpolating Young Thug’s ‘Hot’ but with considerably less energy. And again, he’s not saying anything interesting in between the drug abuse and foreign cars and fetishizing bisexual women and spending so much money that he can’t help but throw jabs at his baby moms until we get the already memed line ‘fucked her in the ass, made her pee-pee’; I feel like I’ve heard songs in this exact same lane dozens of times, and the lack of momentum makes it a slog - not a fan, I’m skipping it.
8. ‘712PM’ by Future - okay, the album opener with some slightly ominous strings warping around the vocal sample before one of the better mastered trap grooves slides in. Again, it’s hard to avoid the thought that Future could do more with it beyond the drug abuse and flexing, but I will give Future a little credit for leaning into the darker vibes - he sounds nastier, the hedonism is better delivered, and thus naturally Future has to include a line about giving money to ‘make a bitch so gay’. So in other words it’s got a lot of the same problems as ‘Gold Stacks’, but also some of its nihilistic strengths, so… I guess it’s a little better, points for that?
4. ‘Puffin On Zootiez’ by Future - this is being considered the fan favourite of the album, outside of the pop crossover single we’ll get to, and I kind of get why. The percussion might feel a little crunchy, but it’s better mastered against the haunted melody, especially as the operatic vocals slip in after the first verse, and Future’s flow feels more locked in, with the switch-ups balanced more effectively. And while the vibes this song is trying to cultivate feel more lethargic, where the flex is supposed to feel blissed out and opulent, it’s not like Future is wrong that folks are copying him wholesale, and the one line I liked is that the trap kidnapped a kid, highlighting the impact Future’s environment had on shaping his nihilistic impulses. Arguably this one works on production and flow more than anything else, and while I wouldn’t call it great… I get why it works, solid cut.
1. ‘Wait For U’ by Future ft. Drake & Tems - I mean, props to Future and Drake for spotting a decent melody from Tems in 2020, sampling it, and then giving her a featuring credit to back up the liquid guitars and harder percussion knock. So it’s clearly trying to go for more of a vulnerable scene, where Future talks about how drugs and alcohol push him to open up to women where he won’t commit because of his lifestyle - which is believable, but Future really could have added more to his verse beyond five bars that bleed into the hook that leans on the sample really hard. I’ll give Drake credit for fleshing out his scene more effectively - it’s rooted in the same inability to connect to the girls, but it’s complicated because she’s got a guy in the picture and she forced an interaction between Drake and him, presuming that Drake can navigate these messy emotional waters even if he caught feelings. So naturally he follows it by saying she should shut up and it’s clear he wasn’t that influential because he couldn’t bring the best of her out, and suddenly it’s a lot harder for me to buy into Drake’s feelings because I think she may have struck a nerve with some actual truth to it. It’s frustrating because it’s an interesting verse, but it’s also clearly designed to get us to sympathize with Drake and I see through his bullshit - it’s not like we haven’t been down this road with both men so many times before. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad and I get the appeal, but I can see myself souring on this if it sticks around too long.
And that was a long week… and the best and the worst fall out pretty fast, in the latter category with ‘Honest’ by Justin Bieber and Don Toliver taking that spot with… let’s say ‘For A Nut’ by Future with Gunna and Young Thug for just being boringly disgusting. That said, Future is getting both of the best of the week here, with the top spot for ‘Gold Stacks’ and a tie for Honourable Mention with ‘Puffin On Zootiez’ and ‘712PM’. Next week… well, it’s Jack Harlow coming in, so we’ll have to see just how much of all this lasts…