billboard BREAKDOWN - hot 100 - april 23, 2022
So full disclosure going forward, given some problems with copyright disputes I’m encountering - and the fact that YouTube’s escrow program has been on the fritz and I haven’t seen proper revenue for the past six months for those videos, and even despite working with YouTube on these issues the ticket still has not been resolved - I’m going to be limiting the copyrighted video and audio I normally play for those segments until the bug is fixed. I agree, it’s not ideal, and I would prefer that I was able to showcase a little more, but most of y’all are here for my commentary anyway, and hopefully this’ll just be short term. At the very least the editing might be a bit shorter too - but hey, on an episode where I was expecting two smaller album bombs and neither happened, I guess I’ll take what I can get.
But before we get to that, the big news comes in our top 10, where for a second week in a row we have a new #1: ‘First Class’ by Jack Harlow. And this is one of those cases where you win on the margins, because Harlow swept through with tremendous streams and sales, with radio lagging far behind; my general rule of thumb is that this’ll probably collapse after this week, especially if airplay doesn’t catch up, but the streaming margin will be a tough one to beat. That said, ‘As It Was’ by Harry Styles is set up to do so: it’s right behind in streaming and the radio has gained a ton of steam very quickly. And this means ‘Heat Waves’ by Glass Animals is not likely to catch with much of anything - it spent the week wavering on the top on radio and it’s slipping in other categories. Hell, it could even be vulnerable to ‘Big Energy’ by Latto ft. Mariah Carey and DJ Khaled at #4… but I’m not sure about this one, because even as its radio has traction, the streaming took a noticeable dip, not a good sign if it’s trying to make a push. It did hold over ‘Enemy’ by Imagine Dragons and JID at #5, which continued to pick up a radio surge even as its streaming started slipping, mostly losing on the sales margin - but even still, held up over ‘Stay’ by Kid LAROI and Justin Bieber at #6, which is freefall across the board. It’ll probably be passed by ‘Super Gremlin’ by Kodak Black at #7, which is still mostly holding its streaming in place if nothing else, but then there’s ‘Woman’ by Doja Cat holding at #8, which I’d say could make a run if its radio wasn’t starting to implode, which is the same case for ‘Ghost’ by Justin Bieber at #9. Finally we have ‘THATS WHAT I WANT’ by Lil Nas X at #10, which actually seemed to stabilize on the radio… but given that’s all it has, we’re not going to see much of a late period run.
And on that note, losers and dropouts. A few notable ones in the latter category outside of ‘Love Nwantiti (Ah Ah Ah)’ by CKay comfortably getting its year-end list spot, specifically both ‘By Your Side’ by Rod Wave and ‘What Else Can I Do?’ by Diane Guerrero and Stephanie Beatriz falling shot, and to continue with Encanto finally going away, ‘Dos Oruguitas’ by Sebastian Yatra is at 93 and ‘The Family Madrigal’ hit 78, the former a continued loser along with ‘Soy El Unico’ by Yahritza Su Esencia at 69, ‘Nobody Like U’ by 4*TOWN at 72, and ‘Thinking With My Dick’ by Kevin Gates and Juicy J at 88. Then we have the debuts with no traction - ‘When You’re Gone’ by Shawn Mendes at 52 and ‘In My Head’ by Lil Tjay at 64 - followed by the songs that are making a more comfortable exit, with ‘pushin p’ by Gunna, Future and Young Thug locking up its year-end spot at 35, and ‘Light Switch’ by Charlie Puth at 43 likely needing and probably getting a few more weeks to get in. Finally we have ‘p power’ by Gunna and Drake stalling out at 93 and ‘Over’ by Lucky Daye at 96 - I did think radio would have to get onboard for this to go further, and turns out I was unfortunately right about that one.
But now onto our returns and gains… and outside of ‘Blick Blick’ by Coi Leray and Nicki Minaj at 95 getting the smallest of album boosts along with ‘X Ultima Vez’ by Daddy Yankee and Bad Bunny slipping back at 99, there’s not much here. For Fivio Foreign’s little album boost he took ‘City Of Gods’ with Kanye West and Alicia Keys to 71, and unfortunately ‘Handsomer’ by Russ and ktlyn rebounded to 54, but the other two gains I mostly like, with ‘Get Into It (Yuh)’ by Doja Cat back at 82 and ‘Nail Tech’ by Jack Harlow continuing up to 40 - I’m not expecting the latter to do much, given the radio has been reticent, but if steaming holds… maybe it’ll work beyond just residual connection to ‘First Class’? Maybe?
Anyway, now onto a slightly shorter list of new arrivals, starting with…
100. ‘Praise The Lord’ by Breland ft. Thomas Rhett - not gonna lie, it was hard to avoid a wince when I saw a song with this title from these two, especially as I think I’m yet to find a single Breland song I’d call even decent. And yeah, this isn’t changing things - why does the handclap sound both fake and weirdly wet and spongy off that vaguely faded lead rollick, and that’s before what might pass for a gospel progression breaks into a trap breakdown on the second hook with gutless drum machines, alongside some of the most obviously compressed vocals I’ve heard in a while? Isn’t gospel supposed to sound organic, build real presence, not end abruptly without anything close to a proper bridge or transition? But the truth is that this isn’t gospel - it’s a list-driven Nashville country track with nothing in the way of soul or personality that can barely disguise how cheap it all sounds. In other words wow this sucks - next!
97. ‘Neck & Wrist’ by Pusha T ft. Jay-Z & Pharrell - I was genuinely surprised to see this here - not that it’s not deserving, but because Pusha T has usually needed a little more of a push to land his singles on the Hot 100, see the glaring lack of ‘Diet Coke’ here for an example of that in this album cycle. But hey, Jay-Z’s name is a good way to get this here… and wow, I really wish ‘Diet Coke’ had charted over this, because I really don’t care for it. Let’s start with the production, where Pharrell has provided this oily synth roiling across the bass and it never stops being annoying or builds to more off the quieter twinkle and fragmented ad-libs. And fine, it’s not like Pusha-T needs much to work with off the sample, and to be fair he’s got a solid flexing verse that doesn’t skip on the menace - I’ve always liked how he emphasizes having better taste and class than standard rapper brands, and he is consistently clever even so much of it ultimately circles the coke trade. The problem is that neither Jay-Z nor Pharrell show up effectively - Jay-Z approaches this same brand of bragging but doesn’t seem as clever with the flex, mostly because he ends his verse highlighting how he’d still be as big if Biggie had survived and they had formed the Commission, which I’m not sure is ground that I’d want to revisit, even if it seems like he’s tying up loose ends. And Pharrell… you had a pretty decent ominous post-chorus, why go full Future on ‘King’s Dead’ and leak into a bad falsetto that just kills the vibe? Even for the meme I thought that was a misstep four years ago, and it’s just as much of one here - shame the rest of the song isn’t all that good either, I really wanted to like this…
81. ‘Treat Me’ by Chloe - you know, I’m still not sure how I feel about Chloe’s solo endeavours, but she was the best part of that Fivio Foreign album and I mostly liked her last charting single, so this… why do I get the problem that she’s running into the same problem she had with ‘Have Mercy’? Once again we’ve got another ass-focused R&B jam - most notable for the very prominent sample of ‘Ms. New Booty’ from Bubba Sparxxx and there’s that 2000s R&B feel by way of a very skeletal bassy knock before it breaks into a scratch-heavy trap breakdown, and while it could work as a dance jam, that’s not how Chloe is playing it. Instead she’s going for either imperious ‘treat me like I’m royalty’ Beyonce territory or piling her higher register and falsetto vocals to try and make it more sensual, and it leads to the entire thing feeling crowded clunkier than it should, especially on the hook. I dunno, I’m not sure why Chloe thinks throwing back to this stripe of R&B party jams is the right fit for her style beyond that nostalgia brand coming back, but even if I came around on ‘Have Mercy’, this feels like a misstep.
79. ‘Thump Shit’ by 42 Dugg & EST Gee - have to be honest, I’m surprised that either of these two are still able to chart these days, mostly because as MCs they can be pretty rough around the edges unless they lock into a grittier flow or vibe… so when a decent amount of the song is talking about women they’re trying to nail, you’re not exactly in for a great time, especially off of that weedy synth melody and hints of strings behind the stuttering trap bass. But again, you’re talking about 42 Dugg who is doing his more nasal Kodak Black wannabe flow with even clunkier rhymes and a lot of gangland flexing, and then EST Gee shows up for more of the same that’s just as clunky even before we get to the premature ejaculation lines that end his verse - classy. Look, apparently this is a song from a collab album the two of them are putting together, and if this is a showcase of the quality from that… yeah, not interested.
75. ‘Psychofreak’ by Camila Cabello ft. WILLOW - anyone else think that the last Camila Cabello album just kind of came and went? Seriously, even if she’s not an album bomb artist I was expecting more attention and yet outside of very few requests and the fact the album wound up on my schedule, I’ve heard very little around this project; a little odd, you’d think she’d have more momentum at this point. But hey, this is a song she did with WILLOW… and it’s a bit of an odd song, not gonna lie. First you get that gauzy minor key organ splashing behind the clicking patter of percussion that eventually picks up some sandy layers and warping synth bass, WILLOW delivering a vocal patter that reminds me of ‘Tom’s Diner’, and then Camila Cabello delivering a surprisingly restrained vocal performance as she goes through a sing-song melody about how fame generally sucks. The interesting thing is that her complaints feel more focused: she’s naturally a little paranoid and pessimistic, especially performing that she’s ‘healed’ herself, or wondering if she’s still giving off enough sex appeal. More interestingly is the references to her split from Fifth Harmony - nothing that sparks a lot of drama, mostly because she doesn’t blame the rest of the band for how it all ended and that she was the one growing distant, which does back up a lot of what was said around the time, even if she caught the lion’s share of the blame… which in retrospect out of the nightmare that is being signed to Syco, I can’t really blame her that much. Overall… I think I appreciate this song more than I like it, even if it is maddeningly catchy, but if there was something that got me intrigued enough to check out Familia, it might have been this, so points for that.
62. ‘London’ by BIA ft. J. Cole - why are people still trying to make BIA a thing? At this point I’ve not been remotely impressed with any of her collaborations, and now netting one of the biggest names yet with J. Cole… well, at least he’d do well, that’s something. It’s not like BIA is doing much to endear herself, where off the dreary melody and rumbling UK trap vibe, where she sounds like she’s disinterested in everything as she rattles through brand names and some of the least convincing flexing with guns I’ve heard in awhile; little rich to imply folks are ripping you off when I can name a half dozen UK trap acts of which you’ve borrowed your entire flow and delivery, eh? And speaking of borrowing… Cole, what are you doing with this phony English accent? I ripped into Drake five years ago when he tried doing this shit and you’re not exempt from it either, not only do you sound painfully corny and weirdly off-rhythm, you make your bad English references come across like the most exasperating sort of cultural tourism with every bad ad-lib! But that’s not to get around certain bars that deserve examination: ‘drum on the gun like Ringo’, ‘she go both ways so I’m tasting the rainbow’, ‘yummy, they got no more bread, they’re crummy’, implying even Queen Elizabeth said you’re king - she doesn’t know nor care who you are, Cole - and then saying that’s he’s proper capitalistic. Glad you confirmed everything Noname said about you two years ago - in the meantime, I hope a whole swathe of UK rappers roll through to take out the trash.
14. ‘In A Minute’ by Lil Baby - I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Lil Baby was dropping a new album, and that he was dropping two singles right out of the gate to capitalize on it - even if buzz seemed oddly muted, though that might be a factor of me just not noticing it. But here we go… and I’ll admit, I was a little thrown to hear a very obvious sample of the melody behind Drake’s ‘Pound Cake’ backing the more aggressive trap groove, it’s certainly distinctive. But okay, what’s Lil Baby saying over it… and you know, it’s not a good sign that the line that stands out the most amidst the “aspirational” flexing and general paranoia is ‘full court press, foot on they neck, and I can’t let em breathe’. And it’s not even that it’s rough in context given that he made ‘The Bigger Picture’ and that still remains his most memorable song, but if Lil Baby had more lines that actually popped in his music, I’d probably wouldn’t take notice of one that seems to trivialize in favour of stunting. So no, this doesn’t do it for me, let’s move on to…
13. ‘Right On’ by Lil Baby - you know, I was trying to get pulled in for this one - the snares clattered a little harder off the operatic mix, it seemed to be building some credible bombast… and then Lil Baby comes in increasingly off-beat and just launches into his usual aspiration flexing and stacking money and buying his girl lots of stuff alongside sex and threeesomes, so that the only problem he seems to have is what watch to wear on any given day, I just tune out. If you’re going to have production that builds this much potency, showcases a darker veneer for the drama or melodrama, to just spend it on stock flexing feels like a major misstep. I get why the fans might like it off the production alone… but I’m not really enthused - I just wish it was memorable.
1. ‘First Class’ by Jack Harlow - have to be honest, when I heard that Jack Harlow was projected to go to #1, even against weaker competition, I was genuinely curious what he had that captivated so many folks, especially as ‘Nail Tech’ has underperformed for all intents and purposes. But with this… I mean, I get why folks are going to it, given the 2000s nostalgia that’s settling in and there’s that very obvious Fergie sample of ‘Glamourous’, which is actually one of the few Fergie songs I actually like a solid bit, especially when Ludacris drops his verse. And… yeah, it’s kind of clever how Jack Harlow chops the hook while keeping the tempo mostly stable with the faster knock and the relaxed vibe off the pianos. But there’s a bunch of lines that Harlow just cannot get off - ‘pineapple juice, I give her sweet sweet semen’, the double entendre about releasing an album the same time as him, the shoutout to UPS for delivering his plaques, how he basically spends most of his second verse offbeat, even if the Euphoria reference was decent and Harlow’s punchlines are at least memorable? It’s frustrating for me with Jack Harlow, because the relaxed vibe and the other half of the punchlines are pretty good - I liked the frat diss, how he said they don’t need Givenchy they need Jesus, the outright admission that more money doesn’t often lead to more problems and he knows what he can give to his family, and how he finally got some folks on his bandwagon. It’s exasperating because Jack Harlow is on the cusp of being overexposed or at the very least hitting the narrow line where he stops being able to pull off being as cool as he thinks he is, and this song is right on that edge….
But I have to admit, it is probably the one I enjoyed nearly the most this week, netting the Honourable Mention behind ‘Psychofreak’ by Camila Cabello and WILLOW for the best; trust me when I say I’m as surprised as any that Pusha T didn’t get it, but annoying production and bad guest appearances really held it back. Whereas the worst of the week was easy: ‘Praise The Lord’ by Breland and Thomas Rhett, with Dishonourable Mention going to ‘LONDON’ by BIA and J. Cole. Next week… honestly I don’t expect much, maybe that Lizzo song will do something amidst the fallout, we’ll have to see.