album review: 'I LIE HERE BURIED WITH MY RINGS AND MY DRESSES' by backxwash

There was a part of me that was genuinely unsure how much recognition and staying power that Backxwash’s 2020 project would have for me.

And while part of that could likely be tied to the shorter runtime, I know for a fact that is a ‘me’ thing - often times that are extremely dark and bleak albums that’ll wind up on my year-end lists that I don’t often go back to as much because, well, they head into extremes that aren’t always the most ‘fun’ to revisit, especially when it’s heavy and bleak and that’s not always a mind state I want to be in. That’s one reason I tend to speak highly of darker music that can still bring ridiculously strong melodic hooks - call it tempering the atmosphere all you want, but there’s more likelihood I’ll come back rather than just diving straight into the darkness. And that’s a big reason why God Has Nothing To Do With This Leave Him Out Of It actually dug in for me - not only was it smart and layered and featured a fully formed thematic arc that Backxwash herself describes as a ‘study in mercy’, but there were hooks that actually dug in, that had me certain this would ignite the pit into a maelstrom in any show or festival! It was one of the most gripping projects of 2020 while still showing room for growth…

And I’ll admit, I was worried about this one. Not that Backxwash didn’t have obscene talent as a performer and producer and that she was only recruiting more names to work with her - Ada Rook of Black Dresses was back but she also got clipping. to produce a song and a sample of Godspeed You! Black Emperor to boot, which in ethos and sound is a sign-off that makes too much sense - but there was going to be a change in theme. This was reportedly an even darker album, a downward spiral to be consumed by one’s own vices and darkness which, to be fair, was a running theme across her last project, but a wallow in pure self-destruction can be really tough to pull off, especially if it turns to pure nihilism for which I have limited patience. Again, it’s very much a ‘me’ thing, I know my track record with art in this lane… but even still, I had high expectations, I wanted this to kick ass so I could actually agree with all of the critical acclaim…

…and wow, it absolutely does. Yeah, there’s a reason I had to make time and get out a solo review of this before the midyear, because in a year where it doesn’t seem like any critics are agreeing on anything - which for the record I do appreciate, diversity of opinions is fantastic - Backxwash delivered the sort of thunderous knockout punch that shows real advancement across the board. The production is more robust, the hooks are somehow even stronger, Backxwash commits to one of the most visceral performances I’ve heard all year, and to back up the content… folks, the hype is deserved, this reminds me of Daughters You Won’t Get What You Want in terms of howling dread, but with a broader swathe of raw emotionality that if anything makes it stronger. And if that’s not ammunition to call this an contender for the best of 2021 thus far, I don’t know what does!

That being said, it’s not an easy album to talk about, even if you might think you know what you’re expecting - Backxwash is once again a visceral, howling presence who can still capture fragile and intimate moments when you might not expect it, especially as the flows have gotten faster and more developed, and she’s not the only one. I’ll admit I was shocked just how grisly Ada Rook sounded on the hook of the title track, maybe even surpassing some of her moments in Black Dresses, Censored Dialogue’s painfully frank verse on ‘TERROR PACKETS’ is heartbreaking, and Sadie Dupuis of Speedy Ortiz provides the perfect slurred over haunted vibe on ‘SONG OF SINNERS’. But it’s not just other vocalists - I’ve already mentioned the Godspeed sample at the end which is a level of apocalyptic climax that Backxwash drives out of the park, but then clipping. shows up to produce ‘BLOOD IN THE WATER’ with a more haunted patter of textured drums that recall most of their horrorcore work the past few years - if the song is short, it’s effective! And while we’re on the topic of structure, that is something I have to commend Backxwash for again - arguably my biggest complaint of her 2020 project was that it could feel a little short, use a bit more space to develop, and while I think the slower build through the overlapping samples on ‘PURPOSE OF PAIN’ and the distant howls from SurgeryHead splitting the crisper synths and percussion of ‘WAIL OF THE BANSHEE’ don’t quite have the immediate impact of the title track, this album brings a variety of horrors to bear and uses its time effectively. The clanking, industrial metal grind of Ada Rook’s guitar on the title track, the fizzy clanks of trap noise on ‘IN THY HOLY NAME’, the gory hollowness of ‘NINE HELLS’, and building off of groundwork last year, the bassy roil backed by sangoma chanting on ‘666 IN LUXAXA’, where it might sound intimidating and foreign to those who don’t recognize it chopped over the industrial sample groove, but Backxwash lets it resolve into a richer vocal harmony in major chords, not quite a moment of levity but perhaps an indication that she’s finding solace in her home culture that centuries of Christian religion has framed as demonic… but even if it is and she’s internalized some of that feeling, there’s still release found there.

And this takes us to the content, and where I’ll admit I was most concerned - again, a downward spiral into empty hedonism, even if it’s a necessary escape it can wind up feeling hollow if there isn’t flavour or added context. Thankfully, Backxwash brought both in spades - even if I think the opening sample is heavy-handed and runs a bit long, it sets an early thesis that a little bit of pain is necessary, it tells us something is wrong, gets our attention to request care. But what’s potent is that said pain isn’t just Backxwash abusing drugs and alcohol to grapple with self-loathing and depression - some of that pain is intended for the audience, which might be the context of calling a song ‘WAIL OF THE BANSHEE’, which I reckon isn’t just a reference to the haunted spirit, but the D&D spell that kills everyone in earshot… except the caster. But it goes forth from there - Backxwash might be in the process of implosion, but she knows the systemic rot around her that would both actively and passively discriminate against her as a black trans woman, and she’s not one to avoid calling it out directly. ‘IN THY HOLY NAME’ is probably the most openly political moment as she calls out the racist rot of the royal family and even well-meaning US Democrats, who in a capitalist system are just as complicit, especially as the religious persecutors of the past are still allowed their operation - the opiate of the masses gets its own segment on ‘SONG OF SINNERS’ where she blearily second-guesses that apocalypse and notes the suicidal framing overlapping with her own. And it shouldn’t even be a surprise that Justin Trudeau gets his mention for his increased bungled record on racial justice, which given the Canadian government’s reaction to the ongoing residential schools nightmare in recent weeks makes ‘666 IN LUXAXA’ even sharper beyond referencing living amidst diaspora, separated from one’s kin on the title track.

But it goes further still - I want to be careful with how I approach this because Backxwash has been very open surrounding her gender journey and she’s pushed back against the framing of previous work by some journalists placing roots of trauma in dysphoria. That’s not the vibe I get from this album, especially on a song like ‘TERROR PACKETS’ that doesn’t just feature Censored Dialogue’s anguish on both people and systems who treat them with negligence, hostility, or even just the refusal to recognize their unique humanity, but also the kinship that Backxwash obviously feels with Angela Davis in the sample that ends that song as she speaks about the systemic racism of police in Los Angeles. A lot of the trauma she’s grappling with is triggered by external factors - broken or corrupted systems, where on the next song she references the devil screams her name with empathy, where her self-destruction becomes a coping mechanism that might be rough but it’s better than a wallow in hate perpetuated by things she can’t control, especially amidst a pandemic and still grappling with the grief of losing sisters; the SOPHIE reference on that song shouldn’t have caught me off-guard, but man, that’s another time it’s really hit for me this year. It’s why addiction, even if adds another layer of societal stigma, gives her some form of release, even if it feels suicidal - it makes the Lil Wayne interpolation on ‘NiNE HELLS’ have that added punch. And it’s why a song like ‘BURN TO ASHES’ is both heartbreaking - she knows where she might wind up someday, where the government isn’t even prepared to treat her as more than a wrong statistic - but also cathartic, because if she’s going out she’s taking more with her, which is why the apocalyptic roar of ‘Static’ from Godspeed You! Black Emperor is both thematically consistent and damn near transcendent.

So I’m not going to say this listen isn’t harrowing as all hell - it’s bleak, it’s uncompromising, it showcases the roots of very real trauma for which Backxwash doesn’t have a clear answer to solve… and the fact that those systems while fragile can feel so implacable means that I understand and empathize, even if I’m not one to feel the brunt of it by any means. But it’s often so striking, so vividly sketched and layered, and punishing with the exact amount of righteous fury that burns skyward at its conclusion… she’s described this project as her Yeezus and I can see it in showcasing the absolute worst of herself but also highlight the systems and prejudices that helped spur it, with no levity granted, but Yeezus only can wish it could strike this hard. This is one of the best of 2021. 9/10… if there’s going to be critical consensus in this year, let it be with this album; hopefully it can then inspire more… by the Nine Hells, indeed.